#232: Torrey DeVitto - This "Chicago Med" Actress Shares her Self-Care Secrets
Follow actress, Torrey DeVitto, on Instagram
From “Chicago Med” to a cozy Michigan farm…
Today, we talk love, compassion, and self-care with actress, musician, and philanthropist, Torrey DeVitto.
You may know Torrey from her six-years on the TV Show "Chicago Med" playing Natalie Manning, or from her many other film and TV credits, but she also spends a tremendous amount of time advocating for causes that encourage more compassion and conscious living.
Torrey is a self-proclaimed, “Jill of all Trades.” Her father, Liberty DeVitto, is the longtime drummer for Billy Joel so it’s no surprise that music was her first passion - excelling in violin at age 6. In addition to being a touring musician and actress, Torrey is also a dancer and model, where she works to promote eco-friendly fashion and makeup.
These days, though, you’re more than likely to find her on her farm in Michigan hanging with her new fiancé and having the occasional sloth day, which we definitely all need from time to time.
About Torrey DeVitto
Conscious actress, advocate, philanthropist, and producer Torrey Joël DeVitto will soon be returning back after her incredible six season run on the NBC drama, “Chicago Med." While she may be best known for her roles in the CW’s, “Vampire Diaries” and “One Tree Hill” as well as ABC Family’s hit show, “Pretty Little Liars,” she is currently making an impact off screen as well.
As an advocate for women's safety, health and rights, she is working on the board of directors with SafeBAE, is a spokesperson and ambassador for the NHPCO. She is also an outspoken advocate for reproductive rights and spoke at Planned Parenthood’s Bans Off Our Bodies virtual rally, attended The Women’s Convention in 2022 as well as shared her own abortion story in an exclusive interview with PEOPLE.
Torrey is also an advocate for animals and regularly supports organizations such as PETA and The Humane Society of the United States (HSUS), and maintains a vegan/vegetarian lifestyle. Throughout the years of her adult life, wellness has been a common theme for Torrey, balancing her busy acting career with her philanthropic work and personal practices in alternative medicine, veganism and holistic wellness. Torrey incorporates consciousness into every aspect of her life from her cruelty-free makeup choices, to vegan fashion and eco-conscious sustainability.
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Full Transcription via AI Transcription Service
This is the PLANTSTRONG Podcast, and I'm your host, Rip Esselstyn.
From the heat of Chicago Med to a cozy Michigan farm, today I talk love, compassion, and self-care with actress, musician, and philanthropist Torrey DeVitto.
We'll kick that off for you right after this message from PLANTSTRONG.
Last fall, I had the privilege of interviewing actress, philanthropist, and activist, Torrey DeVitto on the PLANTSTRONG podcast.
This was right smack dab in the middle of the actor's strike, so we weren't able to bring you this conversation until now, and it was worth the wait.
[0:47]Many of you know Torrey from her six years on the TV show, Chicago Med, playing Dr.
Natalie Manning, but these days, she also spends a tremendous amount of time advocating for causes that encourage more compassion and conscientious living.
Torrey is a self-proclaimed Jill of all trades.
Her father, Liberty DeVito, is the longtime drummer for Billy Joel, so it's little surprise that music was her first passion, excelling in the violin at age six.
In addition to being a touring musician and actress, actress Torrey is also a dancer and a model where she works to promote eco-friendly fashion and makeup.
These days though you're more than likely to find her on her farm in Michigan hanging with her new fiance and having the occasional sloth day which we definitely all need more of from time to time.
I really enjoyed getting to know Torrey and I think you will too.
[1:54]Everybody, welcome back to the PLANTSTRONG Podcast. I have Torrey DeVitto, actress and activist, joining me today.
Torrey, where are you right now?
I am currently in my mother's house in Michigan.
I have a farm in Michigan that gets zero Wi-Fi.
I mean, maybe not zero, but it gets very minimal Wi-Fi and it doesn't support any type of video stuff.
So every time I have a work thing, I have to come to my mom's house.
Oh, well, what a great excuse to visit your mom.
Right? Exactly. Although she's out of town right now. So I get the house to myself.
[2:34]And so why is it you don't have Wi-Fi at your farm? Is it like out in the boonies or is it? Yes. Yes.
I live in the middle of nowhere, nowhere at night.
It's pitch black. There's no no street lights anywhere.
I live in the start of pretty much every horror movie. Wow.
So it's very intentional that you live out away from civilization and you have beautiful night skies and limited Wi-Fi.
That's great. Absolutely. I love it. I love it so much.
Torrey's deep love and admiration for her mother
[3:08]Well, so I think it's appropriate too that you're at your mother's house because Because in getting to know you through, you know, Instagram and some other things, it seems like your mother is absolutely like you love her to the moon and back.
[3:29]I do. Yeah. And you say things like she is light. She is sparkle.
She is comfort. She is love. love.
So like, what is it about your mom that makes her all those things?
I don't know. It's just her essence. My mother, when she walks into a room, she lights up the entire room.
And I know people say that, but I mean, she brings out so much joy in people.
I think one of my favorite things about my mom too, is she's just the least judgmental person I've I've ever known. I always felt even growing up, I could tell her anything.
Um, I felt like I could bring her anywhere. I could introduce her to anyone.
And she's always very inclusive and inviting and she treats every single person the same.
And she always wants people to feel included. And, um, she's just such a, she's like, has so much love to give and so much compassion.
And I mean, don't get me wrong. She's my mom. She could drive me crazy.
[4:33]But there's so many things about her that I'm like oh man like if I'm ever gifted to being a mom like I really I just hope I have like half of that in me because what a great thing to grow up around well it sounds like you have, you've instilled a lot of those values and they're very important to you, not being nonjudgmental and kind of leaning into love, which you say is super important to you.
So, you know, what a, what a great gift your mother has given you.
And you've got two sisters that are super important in your life too, right?
Three sisters, actually. Three sisters. Yes.
The other one doesn't make such a thing on my social media because she's six.
And so I definitely try to keep kids off my Instagram or if I have it on there, I'll put a little sticker on their face.
But yeah, I have an older sister, Devin, and a little sister, Marielle, and then my baby sister, May.
And I'm so close to all three of them. I adore them. We're very tight knit. Yeah.
And then your father, Liberty, seems like an absolute hoot and has been an important part of your life as well.
And just what I was able to see, it seems like he's got an incredible sense of humor, doesn't take life too seriously.
Laughter and Jokes: Bonding with Dad
[5:59]Yeah. Yeah. Dad is definitely the jokester in the family for sure.
I feel like when me and my sisters get around my dad, it's just constant laughter.
You know, I feel like we even deal with hardship kind of through making jokes that maybe other families might find inappropriate, but ours, that's how we communicate when our dad's involved.
And yeah, he really, like growing up with him, he always instilled, like, I get, I feel like my work ethic definitely came from the influence of of my dad and my dad too.
One of the things I noticed when I, as a young kid and throughout my adult years, even with people that would come up to my dad and you know, fans or whatever.
[6:43]He always treated every single person the same and he's very personable and he's very kind, um, to people.
He never had like any type of diva attitude or anything with his job or his career.
[6:56]Um, and I loved that. And my dad always instilled in me when I started working, like how important it is, how you treat your crew.
Like, you know what I mean? Like it's just as important how you treat them as it is your other co-stars.
And, um, and so I was really grateful for that.
Perspective especially getting in a business where you can have your mind get so skewed and so many people's egos can get inflated so easily I feel like both my parents gave me like a very like firm grounding to kind of catapult off so so people understand what you're talking about with your father what was his career my dad's a drummer he jumped with Billy Joel for 30 years so grew up on tour and um you know just traveling around with him but yeah so that's what i was referencing yeah and um are your parents still together or did they separate no they separated when i was 19 um both of them have been with uh their partners that they're with now uh since pretty much around then.
So, um, so yeah, so I, I love my stepdad.
Um, my dad's wife is great. She, uh, obviously gave me my newest little sister who I adore.
So yeah, all is good. Yeah. Now, Torrey, how did you get your name?
Your first name, Torrey? I love the name Torrey.
I've got a, another friend who's a Tori, but it's spelled T-O-R-I and you you're double R-E-Y, right?
[8:26]Yes. So the T-O-R-I is normally from Victoria.
[8:31]Normally. I don't know about your friend, but I would put a guess on it.
And my name actually was my mother's maiden name. So that's why it's spelled that way.
Nice. Like that a lot. So Chicago Med, you said goodbye to that.
What was it? Half a year ago or a year ago? How long ago did you say goodbye to Chicago? Oh my gosh.
Two and a half years ago. Two and a half years. Okay. There you go.
Yeah. It's been over, it was two years in May. So. Wow.
[9:04]That's crazy. And help me out here because I don't watch too much TV. be, is the show still on?
[9:11]Yes, it is. It is. It is. And so did you just feel at six, after six years, it was time to move on?
Uh, new, new challenges?
[9:21]Yeah. You know, um, quite candidly, you know, I, I love, I loved that job so much.
I feel like it was a first for me in so many different ways.
I feel like it was like, took me out of the teen world that I had been in for so long that I loved, but I was ready to kind of transfer into this adult realm of people watching and stuff.
And, um, and I love my co-stars and it just was such a great experience.
But after six years and my contract was up, I started, you know, thinking, I was like, okay, I really, you know, it's so we filmed 10 months out of the year.
And I was like, I really would love to start a family.
I would love to do all these other things. I still, you know, you don't really become an actor for stability, which I was so grateful to have stability for six years.
But I was like, you know, there's so much more I want to do.
I want to try on so many different more hats.
And like I said, I want to start a family. And I was like, I don't know how I'm even going to meet anybody sitting on set 10 months out of the year.
Like maybe it's time to kind of step off and see what's next, you know, see what the universe has in store for me.
So wow and so do you miss um in any way dr natalie manning i do i miss her so much i got to come back.
[10:41]The end was it this year oh my gosh i think was that a year ago no it was this this year yeah yes this may i came um for the end of this season uh because nick elfis was leaving the show so i I was a part of his leaving and it was so nice to put her shoes back on.
I mean, I feel like Natalie was such a huge part of me that she'll always like, I'll always have a huge place in my heart for her.
She, I loved that character. So yeah, of course I miss it.
And I miss some people I got so close to working with, but, but yeah.
Well, I mean, you, I mean, one of the things, so, so you are, you're a huge advocate for things that are near and dear to you.
And one of the things you're an advocate for is, tell me if this is accurate, is women, right?
And independence and women and the power that is inherent in women and the femininity.
So I would imagine that when you got got cast as Dr. Natalie Manning.
I mean, that's pretty cool. Pretty, you know, powerful.
[11:54]Doctor role. Was that something you saw coming or they's like, you know what, we want you to be a doctor.
And you're like, I didn't see it coming.
I went in for the audition, but I remembered, and I would say probably 90% of the roles that I've booked, I've gone into the auditions, knowing deep in my gut, but nobody can do this better than me.
And I know that sounds really arrogant, but like, just knowing that this role is so made for me, nobody else could play it like me because she's meant to be with me.
Like I could just feel it. And I felt that way when I walked in there and I only did one audition and I felt so good about it.
And the thing that I loved about her so much, and I didn't even realize at the time was running in tandem with my life. I am such an advocate for women's rights.
[12:45]And, you know, I just am such an advocate in general for, you know, people just being who they want to be.
And I feel like there's this thing going on with female roles right now where it's like it's she's either seen as like written as weak or it's like she has to be this tough, like, you know, powerful woman. woman.
And I feel like the nuance of compassion and kindness being part of that power that some women inhabit is being left out.
And I feel like that's something that I really fight for. Even in my advocacy work, it's like, there doesn't have, we don't have to bang down every door.
Like if you look at the Jane Goodalls and the Ruth Bader Ginsburg, they had this compassion to them that that was so powerful.
And I feel like that's getting lost a little bit. So when I had the opportunity to play Natalie, she had so much compassion to her as this powerful doctor, single mom.
[13:44]You know, uh, widow that, um, I feel really honored to get to portray that.
Cause I felt like, Oh, cool. Like, I feel like this is very in line with me. Mm-hmm.
Well, love all that.
Was it hard sometimes to learn all these kind of scientific medical terms like this super caucus, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know? Yeah. Yeah, okay.
[14:11]The whole first season, I feel like I would either go in and at least once a day start sweating profusely, just like being like, oh my God, I can't get this out.
Or I wish we had a gag reel because it was so hilarious.
And it's really hard because once you get stuck on a word, it's really hard to like get your mind out of it and actually get it right.
But I will say, I feel like it became easier for me. And I attribute that to being raised playing classical music, because I think that my ear is trained to hear like rhythm and patterns.
And a lot of those words are like rhythm and patterns.
And so I feel like that really worked in my favor.
My mom also likes to say the first play I ever did when I was 17 in Orlando was called Ella Massenary.
And I played a spelling bee champion and I had to spell all these outrageous words.
And my mom's like I swear you got this role because of that play and I'm like okay.
[15:11]Sure that's all it took great now have your have your parents always been a hundred percent supportive of your career paths you know modeling acting and all that yeah they were um you know I asked my parents uh if I could start playing violin when I was six and um they were so supportive of that.
My mom drove me, you know, all the time to my lessons and they took me to competitions, like all the things I wanted to do.
And, um, they pushed me when I would get frustrated, but.
Following my passions and family support
[15:45]Never made it that if I didn't want to do it I didn't have to and that's what I kind of love everything I chose to do was my request and my choice I think sometimes in the arts it gets tricky with kids um I've seen a lot of kids get pushed into it and I don't know that that's the best route just personally I think um but when you pick something and you're passionate about it and then you have your family that support you I think that's something's really special about that and And also when I got into modeling, I remember there were some people around saying like, oh, you should get her into modeling, blah, blah, blah.
And my parents were hesitant and they kind of decided together like, okay, we'll let her do it, but not until she can drive herself to her castings, which I thought was a great place.
I'm really actually happy that they didn't allow me to start any younger. So.
And you started your modeling career, was it in Japan or no, before that? No, before that.
So I started, the first place I started, actually, they sent me.
A summer to Chicago with Ford models in Chicago.
[16:46]And then the next summer, uh, I was 16. They sent me to Ford models, uh, with, uh, in Miami.
And then when I was 17, they sent me for a summer, uh, to Japan.
Now, did you do the filming of, um, of Chicago Med in Chicago or in LA or in Chicago?
Really? Yes. Yes. I spent seven years in Chicago, which, uh, right now I'm only a two hour drive I'm still from Chicago and because I was there for so long and it was the most recent place I was, I feel like the majority of my friends are actually in Chicago.
So I drive in and out. So I love that city. It's a great city. Yeah. Yeah.
Um, I just want to like ask you, because it seems like what you've done with your life, you know, playing violin at six, being a model.
[17:35]Going into acting, being an advocate, speaking your mind for the things that are important to you requires a lot of courage.
And I'm wondering, where do you think you got that foundation of courage to go after kind of your dreams and to speak your mind?
I do think I had the luck of growing up in a very artsy household.
You know, not only was my dad into music, but, you know, my mom was always painting or mosaicing and she could play the piano and she used to teach ballet when she was younger.
And, um, so I almost think that if I told my parents, Hey, I'm going to go to med school, they would have been like, what?
Like, so growing up in the environment that so supports what you want to do and you just see it around you.
I think it was so normalized to me.
I mean, I mean, I grew up by, you know, seeing Billy Joel all the time and my mom's best friends with Stevie Nicks so I saw that this dream of doing what you love is so possible on such a grand stage that scene that kind of normalized it for me because I was like.
[18:45]They're just people like, that's like, you know, aunt Stevie, like, of course, if she can do it, I can do it.
Do you know what I mean? But I don't think that sometimes maybe other people who don't know her would say, well, if Stevie Nicks can do it, I can do it.
Do you know what I mean? They'd be like, uh, maybe the opposite.
But I think growing up in that environment, like gave me the confidence to be like, well, yeah, this is obvious.
Like I, if I work hard enough and that's another thing I always felt like, um, like I said, my dad really instilled work ethic in me.
So it's not like I ever thought anything was owed to me or I didn't go into it like oh I'm just gonna do this I'm just gonna show up like I worked my ass off do you know what I mean and so I felt like well at the very bare minimum at least I'll book a role at some point like my work ethic alone has got to get me somewhere um so yeah I just I just kept going do you know what I mean just kept going and even when I got told no and got hit down or whatever felt insecure or it was so nice to be be able to talk to my dad and, you know, hear about all his failures.
And honestly, still, that's one of my favorite things to do.
I know that sounds kind of ridiculous, but even on set, you know, on Chicago Med, I remember saying to Oliver Platt or talking to Essie Pithom or Kristen, and I was like.
[20:02]Do you guys still get nervous ever and they were like uh yes and i was like oh my god so i feel like normalizing those things like they work all the time i mean they're amazing actors who have this thick career and they still get nervous sometimes and so i always still to this day i call my dad i'm like well what about this he's like you know the beatles got fired from their first record label ever and i was like if they could do it you could do it i'm like yeah yeah Yeah.
Those are, that's, I love all that.
[20:32]When you say your father helped instill like a work ethic in you, like, can you give me an example?
Like would he say, okay, you know, you haven't worked hard enough or cause I've got young kids and I feel like I'm doing that, but I'm wondering if you can give me concrete examples, how he may have did that.
He just kind of would tell me stories about himself he was like you know I he went to take drum lessons when he was 12, and the guy my dad still can't do like I think it's not a drum roll I think it is a drum roll or whatever he's not and he can't he doesn't read drum music um and so he wanted to take a lesson and he was really struggling like learning this drum roll and the teacher wanted to teach him very like um you know strict way of playing drums and my dad was like this is not what I want to do and And the drum teacher was like, you're never going to be good at this.
And my dad was like, no, I want to play like Beatles. And they were like, no.
And so my dad went off and he taught himself.
And he was like, I sat in my room playing every day to all of my favorite records over and over again.
And so he would never say to me, like, you're not working hard enough.
But he'd be like, listen, Tor, if you love something, you do it.
You do it. You do it. And it's going to frustrate you. and you got to keep doing and keep practicing and keep practicing.
He just instilled that kind of like immersing yourself in what you love.
[21:57]Um, and so watching him in that way at first was kind of intimidating when I started my career, cause I learned very early on, I am a bit of a jack of all trades and I feel like my dad is a master of his craft.
[22:09]And I don't think I'll quite ever be a master of anything I do because I like to dabble too much in so many things.
And so I remember thinking like, Oh my God, I will never be that.
But then I realized that's okay. Cause I'm not, I'm not my dad, but having that work ethic of, you know, I never showed up not knowing my lines. I always show up on time.
You know what I mean? If I can't get something, I practice it and I practice it until it is in my head.
I do cancel birthday parties if I find out I have a really important audition the next day.
Do you know what I mean? Like stuff like that. Like he told me very early on too.
He's like, if you really love this, you're going to be the one that's not going to be able to show up and people aren't going to be happy about that.
And if you're not okay with that, then you have to ask yourself that now he's like but are you okay being the one that doesn't show up to birthday parties or holidays and everybody's saying oh Torrey's never here Torrey's never here and I was like yeah and then I realized he was right like I'm always the one that's like I'm sorry guys I can't come I just booked a job I'm sorry guys I can't come and I feel like right now for the first time in my life that's kind of what was my decision of kind of moving on from the last show I was on because I was like okay maybe I kind of want to show up a little bit more now that I'm at this age in this the stage of my life.
But I felt like hearing those stories and kind of understanding what I was getting myself into, if I really wanted to do this, helped me create that work ethic.
[23:35]Those are great examples. Thank you for sharing those. You mentioned that, um.
A Jack of All Trades, Master of None
[23:40]So you were a jack of all traits, kind of not really a master of any, but you like to dabble in things. Yeah.
Like what are some things you're dabbling in right now? Oh, my gosh.
I'm always dabbling in something. Like I just started taking Spanish classes again yesterday.
You know what I mean? Or like one month it's like writing.
I'll wake up and I write every single day and then I'm like oh okay moving on and then the next minute I'm like oh you know what I really want to take piano lessons I never really took them seriously as a kid and that's what I wanted you to know okay I'm going to find a great piano teacher and then I'll do that for three months and I'll be like oh okay well it looks like I'm like uh, luckily acting really stuck and so did violin but um with everything else I'm just kind of like it's It's like little buzzards everywhere.
I'm like, ooh, I want to learn this new thing.
And even in the spiritual realm, I'm like, I'm going to take this course on Akashic records.
Oh, now I want to learn how to read tarot cards. Oh, now I want to get certified for Reiki. Oh, now I want to do this.
And it's like, focus, Torrey, focus.
Love for Travel and Different Cultures
[24:52]That sounds really nice. It does. you also, you seem to love, absolutely adore traveling and going into different cultures.
Is that something that's really important to you?
[25:07]Yeah. And it's so funny. I feel like for the first time in my life, like even that is kind of taking a change.
I just went to Spain with my fiance for one of his friend's weddings and had such a great time.
But I even told him like, now that I have the farm here and, you know, I want to start a family and all those things.
Like I don't really have that travel bug right now, but I'm so grateful that I spent the last 20 years just traveling, traveling the world, old traveling the states like just going everywhere and um right now i'm kind of feeling this bug to just like be still and focus on the animals and my personal life and you know obviously i want to work still but i want to do something really special so whatever that's going to come up um luckily for me i feel like i get best of both worlds because i get to like when i'm home i get to be home and then when i work i get to go to sometimes really cool places sometimes you know you're in in the middle of nowhere, but for the most part, but I even love middle of nowhere things.
I mean, look where I live, but yeah. Yeah. So.
Well, tell me this you've, cause you've been to a lot of places in the last several years from, you know, Jerusalem to Greece to Spain, Vietnam is, does one of them stick out in particular as far as like something you did or.
[26:28]Gosh. I mean, most recently I think Jerusalem was so incredible cause I didn't know what to expect. and we got invited.
I took one of my best friends, Marina, and we got invited to, you know, sit at a rabbi's house and have conversation and, and dinner and I'm not Jewish.
So it was, uh, it was just really beautiful.
And, um, I immersed myself in a culture at a place that was never on a list of like places I thought I would go to, or, you know, somewhere I was like, Like I want to go to Israel.
So going there, it blew my mind. It also, um, blew out a lot of, uh, preconceived notions that I had about it.
Like I thought, you know, what's it going to be like being a woman going to Israel? I didn't know.
And it was just so, it was so incredible. I had that.
It just kind of blew me away, I think, because it was unexpected and, um, the people were so lovely.
Um, but even Vietnam, I mean, that was an experience too. And I mean, my all old time favorite.
I've always resonated deeply with France. So anytime I get the opportunity to go to France, I feel like.
[27:33]If past lives exist, I've definitely had a past life there at some point because I feel very connected to France.
And, you know, I've gotten to go see family, meet family that we still have in Italy. That was such a beautiful experience.
So, yeah, I feel really lucky in the travel department.
I saw a post that you did when you were in Vietnam.
Terrifying Tunnels in Vietnam: A Claustrophobic's Perspective
[27:53]You went down into these tunnels. Oh, yeah.
That looked really wild and spectacular and scary. Sherry. Yes. What was that like?
[28:05]Terrifying. I am a little claustrophobic. So we did tunnels in Israel as well that took you from in Jerusalem, like the bottom all the way up.
And it kind of gave me that same thing because there's no in or out.
And once you're in the middle, like you have no choice.
You have to keep going and you're kind of crouched down.
And it just gives you a perspective um you know we live in such a different time and in a world like such a privileged world and you know you think about these people during world war ii that had to live in these tunnels not even just crawl through them live in them like they talking about pregnant women who gave birth down there and i can't even like my back is hunched over and i'm I'm like, oh my God, this, it's crazy.
It just, that's one of my favorite things about traveling is getting to immerse yourself in somebody else's life.
You know, having that awareness of living outside of yourself for a second and going like, oh my God, this is crazy.
And seeing something that's so old too, you know, that's just part of history. It's crazy.
Were there lights in these tunnels or how is it lit?
It is not lit.
Turn your iphone yes um and i only went to the first level i didn't even they were like do you.
Jeopardy Experience: Nerves and Humility
[29:34]I want to ask you about, there's, listen, I just for, let me just first say, I love this conversation.
Um, I, I want to just kind of bebop around here.
You were on Jeopardy. Like, I don't even know when it was. Was that like a year ago or Celebrity Jeopardy?
Oh, it was almost a year ago. It was last November. And who was, who was the host?
Was it the normal guy? No, Mayim.
Okay. That's all right. That's all right. My M is a B.
Yeah. And so it was Celebrity Jeopardy. What was that experience like? Was it scary?
I mean, when you got up there and the questions, because at home it's like, oh man, it's not that hard.
But I would imagine when the spotlight's on you, it's kind of like, ugh.
[30:23]Yeah. Well, first of all, I don't know if being paired on the same episode with Patton Oswalt is either an insult or an honor.
Like if somebody actually thought maybe I was smart enough to even go toe to toe with him on Jeopardy or if somebody was just like oh she's an easy shoe off like he'll he'll just sweep it anyway so let's just put her with him because that was listen I loved him he was so cool and I love seeing him just blow through all these answers but I was also like this is not fair this is not fair why did I get paired with this man he's too smart like he knew everything he He knew everything, so I was like.
[31:04]It was a very humbling experience. That's what I'll say.
The whole experience was very humbling. I don't know what I expected when I went in. I don't know how I expected I would do.
I know I ended in the positives.
So that was a win.
But the first half of it was just, and I was like, okay, if I don't make this funny and just have fun with it, I'm going to look like an idiot.
So let's just start laughing and having fun.
And honestly, we're there for charity anyway. So to take it seriously, you know, we already get 30 grand to the charity of our choice, whether we win or not.
So that's a win. Um, but yeah, it was terrifying.
And so as far as, you know, the charity of your choice, were you guys, were you able to say what your charity of choice was on the show.
Yeah. Yes. Yes. So I, um, I originally wanted safe Bay because, um.
[32:00]That's a charity I work so close with and they are always in desperate need of funding and they do such beautiful work teaching kids about, um, sexual consent and assault and they go into schools and they have this beautiful curriculum and kids can make, you know, different groups in their school and do it themselves.
And it's just the work they're doing is so vital and beautiful. And so I wanted that.
It didn't get cleared, I think, because they were smaller. So I went with Planned Parenthood, who I also work very closely with, which I know made some people upset per my Instagram, but I didn't even think about it.
I was just like, so happy to be able to play for them and get them some money.
Yeah. Well, and just to continue down that path a little bit, you're very vocal that.
[32:52]Um, men shouldn't be making decisions for a woman's body.
Right. Which I also think is so absolutely ludicrous.
Women's Right to Choose: Hypocrisy and Compassion
[33:02]Uh, it just is so, um, frankly ass backwards.
[33:08]Yeah, I completely agree. Well, that's the problem with all of this stuff.
I feel like all of it is ass backwards. If you you really think about it, it's like the hypocrisy that goes on in this space is mind blowing.
It's like you, you want to take away the right to choose, but then when the baby's born, there's no support.
There's no, like it just hands washed then.
And you know, the fact that we're not thinking beyond just a woman's right to choose the fact that there was a 10 year old in Texas that could not get an abortion after she was raped is so mind blowing.
And I'm like, how is that not not protecting a life that's here.
You know what I mean? A 10 year old, no 10 year old should have to give birth. That's insane.
So to me, the whole thing is ass backwards. And I, I try so hard because it's like to find that compassion that I was talking about.
Cause it's like, how is this just not basic human rights?
Like how it's, it's really hard for me to wrap my head around, but that's why it's very important for me to be in the conversation and to fight for this because I'm like, you guys, we got to see this a little differently, you know?
[34:23]Well, to me, it just seems so basic and so obvious and yeah.
So it's, it, it is frustrating, but so thank you. Thank you for, doing what you're doing in that in that department um let's let's talk for a sec about because you know this is the PLANTSTRONG podcast right yes and we have we haven't touched that that subject yet but you are from everything that i've heard you kind of waver between vegetarian and plant based and you kind of you you want to be all in plant-based but for whatever reason you kind of on on and off.
And I'm wondering when you go off, what do you go off into? Is it cheese? Is it eggs? What is it?
Cheese and eggs. Yeah.
The Challenge of Being a Vegetarian in a Non-Vegetarian Circle
[35:13]Yeah. Yeah. It is. I know it's, it's hard.
I, and I don't know, it's sometimes it's traveling. I also think it's, you know, the people around me, I don't have many vegetarians in my life.
Um, and so what about your fiance? What about your new fiance?
He's not plant-based. Oh, well, maybe we can work on that. I know.
We'll get there. We'll get there. I'll just keep working and working.
But he is always open to going to all the vegan restaurants and if I cook it. He doesn't request.
And he doesn't really eat red meat. He just eats chicken here and there, which I'm like, all right, we're working slowly.
[35:55]Because every time I stick with it, I'm really happy about it.
And then when I get off, I'm like, oh.
Well, I know that you're very supportive of a cruelty-free life.
And eating this way really helps keep those values in alignment, right? right?
Especially when you find out, you know, how they treat chickens and, you know, cows and all that stuff.
And cheese, yeah, it's funny how, you know, once you understand all the things that are wrong with cheese from, you know, the casomorphines, the saturated fat, the, gosh, you know, the salt, all the things that make it kind of like a low-level type opiate.
[36:50]It, you love cheese, but it doesn't love you back.
No, no doubt about it. I don't think it loves anybody back. It's like everybody I know has an issue after they eat cheese.
And for me too, like I could feel it in my joints. I get like really like stiff and like, ah, yeah.
[37:07]So yeah, there's a, there's, there's something I tell people.
I go, cheese is such a concentrated source of calories and everything else.
So just to put it into to perspective for you and our listeners.
So one glass of whole milk is about 150 calories.
If you were to take, let's say cheddar cheese and melt it down and you get an eight ounce glass of cheddar cheese, that would be 960 calories.
Oh my God. So almost six and a half times the amount of calories that are in whole milk and not to to mention the amount of saturated fat, the amount of problematic animal protein.
It just, the list goes on. And there's another thing that's in there, Torrey, called casein.
Casein: The Growth Accelerator in Dairy Products
[37:58]And do you know what casein is?
I've heard of it, but I don't know exactly what it is. Casein is basically, it's a type of protein that's in all dairy products.
And it represents 86% of the protein in cow's milk.
The other 14% comes from whey. So you got casein and whey. Those are the two proteins in cow's milk.
[38:23]And it's a growth accelerator.
And so it's intentionally there in that cow's milk.
[38:30]To grow that baby cow to a big cow as fast as possible. But it was really never meant for us as grown human mammals to drink.
And most of us, we're trying to keep tumors and cancers at bay.
And so the last thing we want to be doing is eating this, for example.
[38:51]Greek yogurt that's got twice the amount of protein or something like that, that's just feeding any dormant tumor and cancer cells we have. have.
So think of cheese as just a, a feeder of, of tumors and cancers, right?
It's really kind of what it is. Yeah. Yeah.
So again, today off the cheese, we're done.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right.
Thank you. Well, I, I continue to wish you well on your, your voyage with all things plant-based slash plant-strong. It's well worth it.
So you like to say that self-care, well, you're a big advocate of self-care and self-love.
And I read somewhere that you tell people to chanter your inner sloth, right?
When it makes sense. Can you expand on that? it?
Yeah, I think we live in a really fast paced society.
And I think that that's pretty detrimental to mental health. I know it is for mine.
And no matter how productive of a person I do feel like I am, and no matter how much I get done and how I'm always pushing myself and this and that, I don't have days where I just turn into a sloth.
I will crumble. Like I am one of those people, like I need to just be home with nobody around.
[40:18]Nobody call me, just let me have the full day to do whatever I want, whether that's lay on the couch and watch Netflix all day or, you know, whatever it is, that's what I'm going to do.
And I think a lot of people, it doesn't have to be that, you know, it can be take yourself to a coffee or sit and read a book somewhere, whatever it is.
But I don't think we allow that because I feel like, especially with social media, we're always checking in on what other people are doing and we're comparing ourselves.
[40:49]And I think that that's a very dangerous road to go down because yeah, you're seeing that, you know, on social media, what somebody's doing, but it's not real time.
You don't know what they're actually doing while they're posting that, what their actual day looks like. That's just what they're putting out there and what you're seeing.
And so I just feel like embracing that little sloth in me is so beneficial for my life.
And I think a lot of people probably hopefully do that on the weekends, but you're right.
We do live in a seriously fast paced, you know, culture society.
And I don't think a lot of us, um it's okay right to yeah to chill out yeah definitely or you know on monday through friday like that's one thing like everybody dreads monday and it's like what a bummer to live that way you know what i mean but if we knew that i think with cell phones and all this stuff we don't have that end time of when work finishes you know i could let work emails go till midnight if i I wanted to, especially being on the East coast and everybody else is, um, a lot of people I talked to are on Pacific time.
And it's like, when you don't give yourself that cutoff to just go, okay, I'm done.
I'm just going to live my life. I'm going to draw tonight. I'm going to, you know, whatever.
When we don't give ourselves, how are we going to recoup for the next day? You know?
[42:19]So you mentioned something that sparked something in me. You said, you know, people dread Mondays.
And for a long time, I didn't know what day of the week it was because of my professions.
It just, it didn't, days of the week didn't mean that much to me.
And you've got a show that you do uh called um stream of consciousness and and you do it how often do you do that i try to do it once a month okay once a month and uh i watched a couple episodes and i love it because sometimes you're you're in a car because you can't get a wi-fi signal from your farm or wherever and you're like yeah all right guys um is it monday i don't know let's see. Oh yeah. It's Monday.
And that just, I loved it because I remember meeting a friend once and I'm like, what day is it? And he's like, how do you not know what day it is?
He's like, that's my goal in life to get to a point to where I don't have to know what day of the week it is.
[43:21]Totally. My fiance jokes with me all the time because he has a Monday through Friday job.
And he's like, you never know what day it is. You don't know the date.
And I'm like, you're not wrong but it's the same thing but you know yeah i do like that i like that no it's good it's good i mean yeah i mean that's a goal that a lot of us should have right yeah yeah uh you i also heard you say you were you were you were being interviewed by somebody and they asked you about you know your fitness and what do you do like what's your fitness routine and you're like Like, whoa, I don't, I'm more into spirituality and I loved your response. Can you talk about that?
Yeah. So fitness is one of those things that definitely ping pongs in and out of my life.
Like currently we're going on a month without any type of fitness.
[44:17]It's hard for me. I don't know why. I have a really hard time being consistent with it, but I do enjoy more exercising my my spiritual life and my brain, like reading and doing a spiritual practice and meditating, I feel like lights me up so much.
And it's not, I think physical fitness is so important and I would love to get to a place where I'm like super consistent with it.
But yeah, I've always been more of the person that's like food is comfort to me, I love eating and I love like spiritually connecting and stuff and it's like whenever anyone's like, do you wanna wake up and do a spin class in the morning?
Surprise Proposal in Pajamas and Goat Boots
[44:57]Yeah yeah well what what about your your your new fiance didn't you didn't he just proposed to you recently yes a month ago wow so huge congrats on that and you know what um what i love about and thank you for sharing some of that on your instagram but i love that he proposed to you and you were wearing shorts and your goat boots.
That is so perfect. Oh my gosh. So perfect. I was wearing my pajamas.
Yeah. Okay. Yes. Even better. I was having a sloth day and I was kind of being cranky that day too, which I was like, if I were him, I would have been like, I'm waiting another day.
She is not in the best mood, but he was like, nope, this is how I love her.
And she's not in a great mood. I don't care.
And I was like, oh, it made me feel so much like warmer that, But, you know, even though I was being that way, he still followed through with his idea.
But no, I was in my pajamas still. I was wearing my goat boots.
And this is gross. This, like, never happens. I remember we walked down the trails. And I had literally been laying on my couch all day.
I rolled from my bed to the couch. And it was, like, 5 o'clock.
And I was like, babe, I got to go inside. I haven't even brushed my teeth yet.
I need to go brush my teeth.
And then he proposed to me. And I was like, woo! What? No! Ah!
Yeah. Big kiss. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, ah!
The Surprise Proposal
[46:23]Did you see it coming or was it a complete surprise?
It was a complete surprise. I mean, we had obviously talked about wanting to get married, so he knew we were both on the same page.
I had no idea it was happening then, though, at all. Wow. Do you have any...
Do you have any advice or recommendations for people in relationships?
Because relationships are tricky, right? They are hard.
[46:50]And I'm just wondering if, you know, if you have anything for anybody.
Oh, my gosh. I mean, relationships have always been very hard for me.
I've not really been in the best relationships. relationships.
I've always found myself in challenging situations.
[47:11]And I think the one thing, actually, one of my friends said this to me, and actually my older sister said this to me too.
And because multiple friends and my sister said it to me, I kind of took it to heart and thought, I never thought this about myself, but it must be true.
They said like, I love your capacity of never giving up on love, no matter what you've been through.
And I'm like, Like, yeah, I never did.
And I think that we could so easily get hurt and go into a shell and become hardened.
[47:42]And I think the one perspective that I hold so true to is if somebody hurts me, it's more about them than it is me, or it's all about them.
Do you know what I mean? The way somebody treats you is just a reflection of how they feel about themselves and the damage that they carry.
And so I've learned to not take very hurtful situations personally and I think because of that it is has enabled me to be able to move on and to still open myself to love and not close off because I don't get hurt and go everybody's gonna be like that like I'm done I always go okay that is a very damaged person I send them love I hope they find what they're looking for but I'm not I'm not going to put myself in this situation anymore. So I think like, just, yeah, don't shut yourself off. And also in relationships, I think we're so quick to want to walk away.
And I think the truth is we come with so much from our childhood, from past relationships, from friendships.
[48:44]We all come with so much hurt and so much damage and so much love, but those bad parts, I feel like romantic relationships are the places where those those wounds are going to get stepped on the most and to have, and to be a compassionate partner that as long as I would say, as long as you're not being abused or, you know, you know, any of that stuff being cheated on or something to have the compassion to go, okay, I see this wound in you.
I love you. I want to work on it. How can we move forward in a very constructive way? Like I see human flaws very beautiful.
And I think being able to see that in your partner and go, okay, you're acting this way because you heard about something.
So let's get to the root of this together. And I love you enough that I want to do this with you.
[49:34]My fiance does that with me. And he's the first person that's ever done that.
Matt, even at my worst, he's so willing to just be there and listen and try to understand what I'm saying and always wants to find a solution.
I never feel like he's shutting me out. I never feel like he's going, that's just not true about anything I feel.
He's like, okay, I can see you feel that way. Let's figure out why.
I feel like he leaves his ego at the door whenever we get into conversations, hard hard conversations are arguments.
And I feel like leaving your ego at the door when you get into hard conversations is really important.
[50:16]Those are some beautiful sentiments there. That was really good.
What, how did you, how did you meet, um, what did your fiance, what's his name? Is it just fiance?
[50:30]His name is Jared. Jared. How did you meet Jared? Jared?
Um, my little cousin who I'm very, very close with, uh, she actually knew him from college.
Um, and my, all my cousins and even my sister went to her senior year of high school with his brother.
So my family has known his family since, uh, they were younger, but they're all from Michigan.
So I never lived in Michigan until now.
And she was like, I know this guy. Cause I was, I wanted to meet somebody in Michigan, but I just didn't know, like if I meet somebody who understands what I do enough, if that would work.
I'm like, do I need to meet somebody from LA and New York just so they understand my job?
And then in Rock Jared, it was such a great, she did such a great job.
Well, again, congrats on that. That's good. Thank you.
So I think I saw this somewhere on one of your posts or something, but if you could have any superpower to help change the world, what would it be?
Oh, any superpower to help change the world. Oh, my gosh.
Cultivating Endless Compassion
[51:44]And I can come back to that because I understand that's a big one.
And I'm laying on you there.
Honestly, like the first thing that came to my mind, as cheesy as it may sound, is just like endless compassion.
I feel like if you're able to keep that going, then you can show up for any situation without resentment, without anger, and just be there for the fight all the time.
But I feel like once you start losing your compassion, you burn out super quick because you just get so enveloped in the hate and the anger and the injustice.
And you're like, ah, like screaming, just like, where's you at?
But if you can show up in those situations with compassion and use that as your springboard, I think that you'd be able to talk to so many leaders and you know what I mean?
Like lead with that and get so much work done really. Endless compassion.
I like that. That's a superpower that I don't think enough of us work on and wield.
[52:48]Agreed. Agreed. Totally. I think you started a book club maybe the beginning of this year or last year.
Is there a book that you're reading right now that you would recommend to the PLANTSTRONG audience? audience? Um, well, I just finished two books.
I read the fourth wind, which if anyone likes anything fantastical, it was such a fun read.
And I just went through the court of roses, um, the thorn of whatever it's called, uh, books, which were the same and amazing in that fantastical world.
Um, and then I read a scary book because it's Halloween. I do like scary things.
I love scary things. So, um, why do you love scary things? I don't know.
And I also feel like it goes against like all my, like, like I tried peace and then I'm like at night, like me, my boyfriend, me, my fiance love horror movies.
Like he's obsessed with horror movies. I love horror movies. We watch them.
And his thing is every October he watches one, like every single day and he has a whole list of the one he'd like to go through.
Um, and I love it. I love scary So do you have a favorite –.
[53:59]Horror movie of all times because there's a lot that had been coming out lately there's a lot um i always joke and say killer clowns from outer space is one of my favorites but that's because it's just so nostalgic and ridiculous um but the one that scared me the most honestly the one that i couldn't sleep for like six months was when the rain came out in movie theaters that one really did damage me i was very scared um nowadays nothing scares me anymore i think i'm just so so immune to it.
Nothing scares me, but the movie smile gave me some good jump scares.
I like a movie with good jump scares.
Well, haven't you also starred in some, some like spooky movies?
I did in the beginning of my career, I did some spooky movies and I was just saying last night, I was like, I'm going to put that out there.
I want to do a really good spooky movie.
Do you want to be the one that's scared or do you want to be the spook?
Ooh, I think I'd, I'd like to start off as the one scared and then the one that gets possessed and turns into the spook. That would be fun.
Well, I feel like I cut you off there because you were talking, I think, about books. Oh, yes, books.
Gosh, so I've read so many good ones. Oh, Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow.
That book was beautiful.
I would highly recommend reading that one if nobody's read that one.
My stepdad gave me that one.
[55:18]And then actually, I was going to start The Eight Simple Rules of Love by Jay Shetty.
Um yeah i thought that one looked like a jay a really sweet read yeah doesn't he have a doesn't he have a podcast yeah yeah he does yeah i think his last book was think like a monk i think that was his i didn't read that one but um i'd recommend that and then yeah i like um some if nobody's read jitterbug perfume i loved that book oh isn't that tony robbins um yeah tom robbins yeah i love that that one too yeah and then also i feel like because it's fall um the book um oh my gosh uh shadow of the shadow of the wind by carlos ruiz something um that book is so like it just he's such a beautiful writer and it pulls up so much imagery while you're reading it it's so beautiful and i feel like it's a little dark and not scary but a little dark and um i I think it'd be a really beautiful fall read.
Fall Reading List: Dark and Beautiful Literature
[56:21]So let's say it's Sunday and you're in your sloth mood.
You're in your coziest place that you can get in your farmhouse.
[56:35]And you decide you've just finished one of your great books.
And now you're turning on Netflix because you just don't feel like thinking and working.
Is there a show that you're into these days?
[56:50]I'm not currently watching anything right now.
What was the last thing we want? Oh, but Jared and I just finished.
What was it? It was the one about the woman who helped hide and Frank.
That show was beautiful. Really, really well done. I enjoyed that a lot. We just finished that.
[57:18]But yeah, I feel like I'm not into a show right now. Yeah, but I want to find something.
There's just so much. Do you know what I mean? There's so much.
No, you go there and it's just like, God, it's an, they, they are pumping it out endlessly. The kind of, endlessly.
I do always recommend to people some good K drama. That's definitely my favorite genre show.
Um, they have some beautiful ones like the King's affection.
It will gut you or crash landing on you. I'm writing that down. Oh my God.
[57:53]It's so good. So good. Okay. um so just a couple more minutes uh Torrey that i want you for and um yeah so you do you do a lot of hallmark movies or because i saw you did one and it caught my attention because it's my my name rip in time and um what what was that that was fun it was based off the fable about ripman winkle um and that was a lot of fun i really i love the script um i think the thing i love about hallmark right now is a lot of the scripts that i've seen um i had to call and be like wait are you sure this is hallmark uh they definitely are expanding their work and i feel um the scripts are getting so much richer and frankly so much better um and i've just really enjoyed it i did that rip and time movie last year and then I did one called Greek is Love to Me this year and I got to go film it in Santorini and I had a blast and we had this amazing cast and it was just so much fun um so yeah I've done I've done a few but um and I've just enjoyed them think about this place in my life where it's like if I like a script and I feel like I could have fun with the character and.
[59:13]It's gonna be with fun people then it's like let's go I just want to enjoy it Torrey this is this has been really really great i really appreciate you coming on the PLANTSTRONG podcast and us uh kind of chewing the kale chewing the kale for for a good i do too i just made that up for the for the last hour and i love you know some of my big takeaways are endless compassion leaning into love, And, you know, pulling out that sloth on the weekends or when you need to.
And then I loved what you said about your father and, you know, how he instilled that work ethic in you just by showing you what hard work looks like and telling you about it. I'd like to end with this.
And you also, I love when you said too that like a real strength that a lot of people don't exhibit is a softness.
[1:00:12]And so I'm going to read this, and this is something that you wrote, and it's flower power, okay?
So here's Torrey.
We can do this another way, especially women to women.
It's time we allow each other to be whatever it is that we want to be, and for me, I am reclaiming my softness, softness in my mind, body, and spirit.
My softness that glides me through my day.
My softness that protects me from sharp edges, that dances with joy, and that sets boundaries with loving intentions.
Thank you, Torrey. Thank you. Can I get a PLANTSTRONG fist bump on the way out? Boom.
I love it. Thank you so much.
Beautiful Takeaways on Love and Compassion
[1:01:04]There were so many beautiful takeaways from that conversation.
Never give up on love. See human flaws as something beautiful.
And no matter what you happen to be going through, try to lead with compassion, especially, especially with yourself.
And of course, I'll add a takeaway to that as well. Well, always, always keep it PLANTSTRONG.
Thanks so much to all of you for listening and sharing.
The PLANTSTRONG podcast team includes Carrie Barrett, Laurie Kortowich, and Amy Mackey.
If you like what you hear, do us a favor and share the show with your friends and loved ones.
You can always leave a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify And while you're there, make sure to hit that follow button so that you never miss an episode.
As always, this and every episode is dedicated to my parents, Dr. Caldwell B. Esselstyn Jr.
And Anne Crile Esselstyn.
Thanks so much for listening. Do you want to keep up to date with PLANTSTRONG events?
Then follow us on Instagram at goplanstrong or you can follow me at ripesselstyn.
